What others think of me is none of my business

So how does this relate to other people’s opinions of you? 

When looking at yourself, the only thing you can control are the thoughts you have about your life. If you can only control your own thoughts, how do you think you can ever control anyone else’s thoughts, especially about you. What someone thinks of you is not only none of your business but it’s simply their opinion from their perspective. Just like what you think about them is your opinion about them all seen through your own lens.

Everybody has their own preferences in life. Some people love chocolate cake while others prefer something more savoury like cheese and crackers. If someone doesn’t like the chocolate cake, does that mean there is something wrong with the cake? No, it just means not everyone likes the same thing. The same is with other people’s opinions of you. Some people will be naturally drawn to you and enjoy your company while others may dislike you from the moment you meet. The more you try to ‘make’ them like you, the less they probably will.

So why do most people feel uncomfortable when the opinions of others are not positive? 

Because most people just want to be liked. The more successful you are, the more opinions people will have about you. The more money you make, the opinions just grow. If you are creative and paint pictures, create courses or write books then you will face lots of opinions about your work but also about you as a person. The more you are out in the world, the more people feel they can judge you.

It’s when you make the opinions of other MEAN something to you that causes the problem. If I stand up in front of a group of students and teach them about the mind, half the students may be interested while the other half may think it is a load of rubbish. I decide what it means by what I think about their opinion. If I believe any of what is being said is true, then my negative thoughts will reflect this and may cause me to feel inadequate. If I don’t believe the opinions of other people, then I will continue to feel confident in my work and my choices.

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What you think of me is none of my business. It sounds strange. Surely, my reputation in the eyes of others is my business? Most people struggle to come to terms with this concept. In a world where people virtually sell their souls for a glimpse of success and, television is dominated by a constant bombardment of 'reality' television; how can we not be concerned by others'  opinions of us. When I first heard of this philosophy, I rejected it but when I finally adopted it, I quickly experienced reduced stress, reduced anxiety and reduced worry. As a consequence, my life became a happier and healthier experience. So I would urge you to consider adopting the philosophy 'what you think of me is none of my business'.

Why I adopted 'what you think of me is none of my business' as my philosophy

As a kid I was always very fat, or as I prefer to say; I was pleasantly plump.  There probably isn't a name that I was not called but there is one incident that really sticks in my mind.

When I was 15, I was walking back to school following lunch break. As I walked in the gates I met 3 of my class mates; 2 girls and 1 boy. They ran over to me all excited as if they had some major news for me. They told me that, the year before, another girl from the class had fancied me. The excitement was gone though. Now they were in fits of laughter. They spent the next five minutes (though it felt like an eternity) laughing into my face at the idea that a girl could like me. I let them finish their laughing and casually walked off, pretending not be hurt. But it hurt that day and it hurt for a long time afterwards.

The bitterness and hurt that I felt over this incident and the many others instances of abuse, only subsided when I read the following quote by 'Dr. Wayne W. Dyer':

What you think of me is none of my business

It took some time to accept but eventually, I realised that I was partly responsible for the pain that I had felt. I could not control what others thought of me; no more than I could control their actions. The one thing I had under my control was my reaction to their behaviour. What others think of me will never have any importance to me, unless I choose to give it that importance. It cannot hurt me unless I choose to let it hurt me.

For this reason I now try to live my life by the philosophy of 'what you think of me is none of my business'. I try not to get upset when somebody insults me and I try not to get carried away when someone compliments me. I realise that whether the other person thinks positively or negatively of me, it has no bearing. I am still the same person either way.

Who said what others think of you is none of your business?

What other people think about you is none of your?

What people think about you is not your responsibility?

What other people think of me is none of my business Eleanor?