You may be wondering about how you can intervene if you see an incidence of violence happening or a situation has the potential for violence? You may have concerns for your own safety and welfare or perhaps being confrontational is not part of who you are. Part of the Green Dot philosophy is teaching bystanders how to intervene in a manner that is comfortable for them. Show Direct: A direct intervention is exactly as it says; a bystander confronts a situation him or herself. For example, you may witness a situation developing with a friend and another person that looks like it may escalate so you step in and pull your friend out of the situation and walk him/her away. When safe, being direct is the most immediate way to intervene in a situation. Distract: Perhaps you don’t want to address a situation directly then you can try to cause a distraction that will diffuse the situation and give a moment for things to calm down. Maybe you “accidentally” spill your drink or ask to borrow a cell phone from the person who is in the threatening situation. Sometimes that one break in a situation is all it takes to help someone out. Delegate: If you can’t intervene directly in something because there is a barrier that makes you uncomfortable, then enlist some help. Ask friends to assist you or talk to a faculty or staff member. Maybe it means you need to call the police. Doing a Green Dot intervention does not mean you have to do it alone.
You can make a choice to actively and visibly support trans and non-binary people to safely accessing the bathroom that fits their identity and comfort. The Five D’s of Bystander Intervention are tools you can use to support someone who’s being harmed. The 5D’sRegardless of how you choose to intervene, you should always stay with the person harmed until they are safe and let them know about their options for accessing support or bringing forward a complaint. DirectDirectly intervene in a situation. Speak up about the harm. Be firm and clear.
DelegateGet help from someone else. Scan the situation to assess risk and determine how to best intervene. Then, delegate tasks to others around you.
DelayAfter the incident is over, check in with the person who was harmed. This is essential because it shows the individual that they, and their gender identity, are valued. Delay also could mean continuing to educate ourselves and those around us about further steps to be in solidarity with the trans and non-binary community.
DistractTake an indirect approach to de-escalate the situation. Distracting attention away from the person causing harm to give the person experiencing harm time to move away.
DocumentIf someone is already intervening and you believe the person causing harm behaviour is escalated, you can document the situation.
Regardless of how you choose to intervene, you should always stay with the person being harmed until they are safe.
Sometimes these types of situations can escalate, and the person causing the harm might begin yelling or become physically aggressive. Try to remain calm and manage your own response when you witness someone escalating. These strategies can help to de-escalate or prevent further escalation from the person causing harm. Approach from the SideDo not approach an escalated person from behind, or get directly in their face, as this may escalate the situation. Stand to the side and leave space between you. Saying "Stop"You always have the right to say "stop," or "that is not okay." You could say, “I need you to stop speaking to them like that” or “the way you are speaking is making me uncomfortable/does not feel okay for me.” Broken RecordRepeating the same statement until the person causing harm corrects their behaviour or exits the situation. For example, “the university believes that everyone has the right to use the washroom in accordance with their lived gender identity and/or gender expression. The sign outside says so.” Naming the BehaviourAddress the specific behaviour that is harmful. Often, in the moment, a person causing harm might not be aware of how they are acting. Naming the behaviour gives the person causing harm the opportunity to identify their behaviours and correct themselves. Avoid using labels or sarcasm, or articulating your assumptions about their motives. For example, you could say, “don’t tell people which bathroom fits their gender identity; it can create harm. This person deserves a safe place to use the bathroom based on their identity and comfort.” "I" StatementsStarting sentences with "you" can sometimes be interpreted as judgmental regardless of intentions and may make the person causing harm defensive. "l' statements can be used to voice your feelings and wishes without expressing judgment. "We" StatementsTurn yourself and the person causing harm into a "we" to foster a sense of unity. When you create a "we," the person causing harm is less likely to direct their anger towards you. For example, you could say “we both want everyone to feel safe going to the bathroom – right?” InterruptingInterrupting either the person causing harm or the situation. For example, “I am sorry to interrupt but what is going on here isn’t okay with me.” Assertive IgnoringSometimes, ignoring can be a proactive decision. By choosing not to engage (i.e., not making eye contact or speaking and turning your body away), you are de-escalating a situation. You can also choose to speak only with the person experiencing harm, asking them what they need and if they are okay. Match and Wind DownTo avoid giving the immediate impression that you are trying to calm or quiet the person causing harm, you might choose to match the vocal intensity and tone of the person causing harm. Then, you can slowly lower your intensity gradually. You can do so by speaking in an increasingly calmer tone and ensuring that your breathing is regulated. The person causing harm may unconsciously mimic your response.
Adapted from Centre for Anti-Violence Education The Five ‘Ds’ of Bystander Intervention and Hollaback’s 5D’s. Direct Sometimes, we may want to respond directly to harassment by naming the inappropriate behavior confronting the person doing harm. Use this one with caution, because Direct intervention can be risky – the person harassing may redirect their abuse towards the intervening bystander, or may escalate the situation in another way. The first key to Direct intervention is to assess the situation before you decide to respond, by asking yourself the following questions: 1. Are you physically safe? 2. Is the person being harassed physically safe? 3. Does it seem unlikely that the situation will escalate? 4. Can you tell if the person being harassed wants someone to speak up? If you can answer yes to all of these questions, you might choose a direct response. The second key to Direct intervention is to keep it short and succinct. As tempting as it may be, avoid engaging in dialogue, debate, or an argument – since this is how situations can escalate. If the person harassing responds to your Direct intervention, focus your attention on assisting the person who was harmed, instead of engaging with the person doing the harm. If you choose to intervene directly, here are some examples of what you can say: – “That’s inappropriate,” “That’s homophobic,” “That’s disrespectful,” “That’s racist,” “That’s not okay,” “That’s harassment,” etc. – “Leave them alone.” – “Please stop right now.” – “They’ve asked you to leave them alone and I’m here to support them.” A note about safety: We don’t ever want you to get hurt while trying to help someone out. Always prioritize safety, and consider possibilities that are unlikely to put you or anyone else in harm’s way. |