How to deal with an angry drunk person

Most people are aware that intoxicated people are not the easiest to be around, especially if they become mean when drinking. With the right techniques and tools, you don’t need to let an angry drunk ruin your night.

Different Types of Drunks

A 2015 study published in Addiction Research & Theory describes the “four types of drunks.” This study collected, explored, and applied evidence on different personalities that surface when people are drinking. Researchers surveyed 187 pairs of undergraduate students who drank together often and knew how their “drinking buddy” behaved when intoxicated. These participants were asked how often and how much they usually drank. The students reported on any unpleasant consequences from drinking, like poor school performance, weak work ethic, regrettable sex, or needing a drink first thing in the morning.

The participants were asked to describe what they believe they are like when they are drunk. They then assessed their partner’s assessments and contradicted them if necessary. Researchers used the “big five” personality traits, also known as the OCEAN model. This model offers a suggested taxonomy, or grouping, for personality traits, and was developed in the 1980s in psychological trait theory. The five traits are openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

Different Drunk Personalities

• The first personality category identified in the study is the “Ernest Hemingway Type.” Based on the novelist, The Hemingway drunk has a reputation of being impervious to alcohol. This personality type includes people who behave the same whether inebriated or sober – their temperament does not noticeably change. When these individuals are sober, they are about average across the five personality metrics. Unlike other people, these individuals’ levels of intellect and conscientiousness are altered less.

• The “Mary Poppins” drinker is very agreeable when sober, and remains just as agreeable when drunk. When drunk, their levels of conscientiousness and intellect decrease a little.

• The “Nutty Professor Type” experiences an increase in extroversion, diverging from their usual quiet temperaments. These individuals become much less conscientious after just a few drinks. Such individuals are introverted when sober, but become the life of the party when they are drunk.

• Lastly, there is the “Mr. Hyde Type.” These drinkers experience an increase in hostility, among other altered tendencies. The “Mr. Hyde” personality type is most common among the mean drunks.

The “Mr. Hyde” disposition is named for the troublesome alter-ego of Dr. Jekyll. People with this personality type experience decreased mindfulness, intellect, and agreeableness when they’re under the influence. In contrast to when they are sober, they become less responsible, less intellectual, and increasingly hostile.

There’s little correlation between the personality categories and the frequency or amount of drinking. The researchers noticed that when they looked at the consequences reported by the drinkers, the members of the Mr. Hyde category experienced the most problems related to their drinking habits, followed by the Hemingways. The Mr. Hyde group had the most women in it.

These personality categories don’t encapsulate all of the possible characteristics of drunk behavior. Having an unpleasant “drunk personality” could be an indication of a drinking problem. The purpose of the study was to create baseline assessments of “drunk personalities.” These assessments have the potential to be used by clinicians to help problem drinkers understand underlying issues. Researchers believe that evaluating clients’ unique ‘drunk personality profiles’ could provide a personalized link between their drinking episodes and the subsequent problems. It could potentially open the door for a tailored discussion about how their drinking, personality expression, and drunken behaviors are intertwined.

Dealing with An Angry Drunk

It’s exhausting to spend time with someone who frequently becomes hostile or provocative when intoxicated. It can destroy not only your night out but your self-esteem as well. There are ways to cope and protect yourself from someone who experiences a 180-degree shift in their personality after drinking. The easiest way to protect yourself is to leave the situation. When the “angry drunk” is a family member or a loved one, leaving them angry at the bar is not the best way to handle the situation. Keeping calm, taking deep breaths, and avoiding escalating things is the best plan of action. These techniques may help them calm down and listen to you.

Introducing a distraction can de-escalate an alcohol-induced conflict. In a study on how people manage anger, researchers learned that self-focused rumination usually worsened an individuals’ mood, but distractions diffused negative emotion. If the angry drinker is getting into trouble with someone else, it’s a good idea to remove them from the environment and take them away from the conflict.

Wait until the person is sober to have a calm and honest conversation about the issue. It may help them in coming to terms with their behavior and combating the effects of their actions. Being sober helps the individual to be more receptive to your feedback. It may be helpful to describe how you feel about their behavior and tell them that you want to skip outings if they keep drinking and acting inappropriately. It’s important to avoid judgment or any accusatory language that could make them defensive. With kindness and empathy, it’s possible to have a productive discussion and take steps for your loved one to move forward.

Dealing with an angry inebriated person is difficult. Understanding that every individual is different and that there are many factors that contribute to people’s unique drunk personality is important. It’s essential to have patience, empathy, and confidence when dealing with an angry drunk.

At Boardwalk Recovery Center, we understand that the individual with the drinking problem is not the only one that is impacted, and we support family members and friends with ideas and ways of coping with the problem behavior.

There is much discussion around the different drunk personalities people can exhibit. One of the best known is the “angry drunk.”

We’ve all met an angry or “mean drunk” at some point in our lives. Such people often get irritated at the slightest provocation when they’ve been drinking. They might abuse others verbally or even physically, leading to arguments and violence every time they drink. Even worse, some might entirely forget what they were doing while drunk, making it very hard to change this behavior.

So, what can you do when you encounter an angry drunk. How can you deal with a loved one who exhibits aggressive drunk behavior? And if the above describes you, how can you stop being an angry drunk? Below, we’ll answer both pressing questions. But first, what makes one person become angry while drinking, while another does not?

Why Are Some People Angry Drunks?

Research has uncovered at least three reasons why someone might display aggressive behavior while intoxicated:

1. They already have a short temper

A comparative study on anger traits and alcohol-induced aggression confirms that many angry drunks are already naturally angry people. So if someone you know is normally short-tempered, this may explain why they display rage when drinking.

2. They suppress their anger when sober

What about that friend who often seems mild-mannered when sober, but changes character completely when they drink? According to research, many people who become aggressive when drunk score high on the anger-suppression scale. They may be great at masking their feelings under normal circumstances. But since alcohol lowers inhibitions, it may all come spilling out when they drink.

3. They are impulsive

Finally, other research shows that people who rarely think of the consequences of their actions are more likely to be angry drunks. Since emotions are heightened during drinking, when their anger is triggered all they can think of is fighting back—whether with words or full-blown physical violence.

Any or all of these reasons can cause someone to display greater aggression when drinking. But if you have someone like this in your life, or you struggle with anger while intoxicated yourself, what‘s the best way to manage or change it?

How to Deal With an Angry Drunk

If the angry drunk in your life is a friend or loved one, what is the best way to deal with their behavior while intoxicated?

A person who becomes aggressive when drunk can be intimidating, but there are often safe ways to deal with the situation. When an angry drunk in your life is making a scene, try the following four strategies to diffuse things:

Keep calm

When provoked, an angry drunk looks for ways to expel their anger. So if you act agitated, it can fuel their anger and worsen the conflict. Even asking them to calm down can aggravate them.

Instead, change the dynamic by example. Rather than reacting, do your best to stay composed. Take deep breaths, and avoid escalating things. This may help them calm down, and even listen to you.

Introduce a distraction

Sometimes, distractions can also help de-escalate an alcohol-induced conflict.

In a study on how people manage anger, researchers discovered that self-focused rumination often worsened a person’s mood, but distractions helped diffuse negative emotion. Therefore, if you’re in an unpleasant situation with an angry drunk, try finding a distraction—such as a new topic, or something else happening in your surroundings.

Of course, you should always do this with care and tact. If your friend is talking about a subject that makes them angry, they could also become more annoyed if they feel you’re inattentive to their concerns.

Flee, or get them away from the scene

If you don’t want to fight, sometimes it’s wise to choose a flight response—especially if you notice that you won’t be able to control your emotions any longer. This will help you avoid a situation that could get more violent.

And if the angry drunk is a loved one who is getting themselves into trouble with someone else, you might also try to take them away from the place of conflict. However, it’s important to negotiate this with friendliness, and affirm their concerns with kindness.

Gently talk to them when sober

If your loved one has a pattern of becoming aggressive when drunk, consider communicating your concerns to them. They might be unaware of their behavior, or not realize that it’s hurting you or others.

When the alcohol has left their system, find a good time to bring the topic up. Avoid accusatory language, or judgement, which might make them defensive. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and if they are struggling with alcohol in general, offer support and understanding.

It’s not always easy to address problematic drinking behaviors. However, with care and empathy, it’s often possible to have a productive discussion, and help someone move forward.

How to Stop Being an Angry Drunk

What if you’re the angry drunk? Perhaps a friend or loved one has pointed out your aggressive behavior while intoxicated. Or maybe you’ve experienced the consequences the morning after a few too many times, and are beginning to think there may be a problem.

But if you’ve noticed this pattern, what can you do about it? It’s hard to change things overnight, but there are some constructive steps you can take to avoid and unlearn this behavior:

Identify your anger triggers

We all get angry sometimes. It’s an important emotion for helping us determine when and how someone has wronged us. Anger can be a problem, however, when you release it in unproductive ways.

Think of the situations you get angry in, and the reasons why. If you tend to pick fights without a strong enough reason, for example, it’s possible you’re venting feelings stemming from a deeper issue you haven’t tackled.

Maybe you’re not happy about your life in general. Perhaps you have a genetic tendency towards anger. Or you might have grown up in a hostile environment, and see aggression as the only way to handle difficult circumstances.

Whatever your reasons, know that no behavior is set in stone. By practicing some of the below strategies, and finding the right support, it’s possible to establish newer, healthier patterns.

Start a mindfulness practice

Beginning a regular meditation practice, or any type of mindfulness therapy, can make it much easier to regulate your emotions—drunk or sober.

Being mindful of your emotions doesn’t mean suppressing your anger: it means learning to observe it, reflect on it, and determine how to productively respond to it. This can help you to be more self-compassionate, and more measured in how you respond to others.

By placing an extra step between your feelings and your actions, you can reduce the chances that you’ll do or say something you’ll later regret. Instead, you can learn from watching yourself and others what actions might get you more positive results.

Reduce your alcohol use

If you often drink to excess—especially if you often black out or fail to remember what you did while drunk—changing your behavior can be difficult. You may also have a pattern of using alcohol to cope with stressful situations, or as an excuse to expel pent-up anger.

If any of the above is true, it may be time to quit or cut back on your alcohol consumption.

Of course, this is often easier said than done. The good news is that there are newer, easier ways to access support for problem drinking. Online programs like Ria Health can give you access to coaching support, medication to reduce cravings, and handy digital tools. You don’t need to identify as an alcoholic to join either—whatever your goals, we’ll meet you where you’re at.

Get in touch with our team today, or learn more about how it works