Is the ability to commit to doing what is right no matter the situation

Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. is a seasoned clinician with experience working with adults, couples, families, adolescents and older children since 1976. His aim ...Read More

Always remember the distinction between contribution and commitment. Take the matter of bacon and eggs. The chicken makes a contribution. The pig makes a commitment.

-John Mack Carter

A remarkably useful distinction and universal tool is being aware, in the most practical possible way, of what constitutes the three components of a commitment. What qualifies as a commitment and a committed person? As the above humorous quote implies, commitment has something to do with betting your life, something far more than making a contribution, although a contribution may well be a part of a commitment. Commitment is one of those funny ideas that almost everyone thinks they understand and often say, “I know it when I see it.” Is this simply some deceptive tomfoolery, a convenient and comfortable illusion or are they telling the truth? If we know what actually constitutes a commitment, wouldn’t we be able to succinctly assert what it is and give several clear definitive illustrations? Of course, rarely if ever does either come forth when you ask someone. At most you receive a quizzical smile or nod acknowledging that what you asked is self-evident. What qualifies as a commitment and a committed person is not obvious and is of incalculable value since it is at the heart of earning trust.

It is proposed that without all three components of a commitment, there is no commitment. There may be a good intention and/or action, but neither or both constitute a commitment or qualify anyone as a committed person. It is asserted that the three components of a commitment are:

1. A public statement of intention, that is, speaking with or writing to pertinent other people of specifically what you are “signed up” for and fully intend to do in action;

2. Explicitly indicate a specific time and date to begin taking the intended action and also a specific time and date to complete the intended actions, and to periodically communicate progress and, if necessary, to shift times and dates given logistics and vagaries of life (i.e., being timely); and

3. Do the intended, signed up for actions as promised to completion.

A committed person is simply one who regularly keeps their commitments, what he or she has signed up to do or not do. Sounds rather simple and straightforward, doesn’t it? It is, and it works remarkably well. I’ve met people who take all of this in stride and report being such a person and further knowing many others who fit this pattern. What a blessing for all concerned! Far more often, people spontaneously indicate that both commitments and committed people are highly uncommon in their life and in life generally. I’ve noticed that the more someone operates on a committed basis in regularly signing up for commitments and fulfilling them in a timely way, the more committed people s/he knows.

Take the example of a young adult committing to clean up part of the house by vacuuming the downstairs. Without a time and date for starting and finishing, there is no commitment, even with a follow-through in action. Of course, without doing what this young adult committed to, again there is no commitment, and he or she does not qualify as a committed person. Sign up to vacuum the downstairs, specify that it will be done before a 6 PM dinner Saturday night and actually do this vacuuming, and you have both a commitment and an indication that this person is a committed responsible adult. Hurrah!

Take another illustration of calling a plumber to come fix a sink that won’t drain. Saying he would come by 11 AM today to do the work, he calls at 10:45 AM saying he is running late and will arrive before noon. He arrives just before noon and completes the job satisfactorily. He has honored his commitment. You may hire him again given he has given you one sample of being a committed being.

The three components of a commitment are amazingly simple and functional in navigating your way through life. Words and people lie all the time; stated intentions, a time and date and actions combined don’t. Anyone who honors commitments is a wonderful treasure worth knowing and valuing.

Keep Reading By Author Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D.

Read In Order Of Posting

Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the ‘right stuff’ to turn our dreams into reality. – James Womack

Many people consistently complain about not getting something; about not achieving their goals; and about all the obstacles and problems that make their life “oh so difficult”. These people would immediately quit complaining the moment they realized that: we don’t get what we want; we only get what we are 100 percent committed to. In other words, unless you are fully committed to something, you don’t have a hope in the world of bringing your desires into reality.

The problem is that many people never really fully commit to anything meaningful and worthwhile. What they see as “commitment” is nothing more than the act of simply being merely “interested” in something, and unfortunately, that just isn’t enough.

Commitment goes beyond “merely being interested” in something. To commit to something means blocking out other possible alternatives while focusing all your attention and efforts on one definitive objective. This is important because this “focus of attention” provides a sense of certainty that specific outcomes will be realized.

When you commit you make an important decision to burn your bridges and pursue one clear path towards your desired destination. However, in order to get to that end destination, you need dedication, patience, discipline, and determination to do whatever it takes despite difficulties, discomfort and the inconveniences you will experience along your journey. In fact, commitment is all about being proactive and never backing down no matter what problems may arise.

To commit to something is also about passion. It’s about the level of passion you can muster inside of you. It’s after all this “passion” that will help you overcome your doubts during difficult moments along your journey.

It’s advantageous to fully commit yourself to a decision because with commitment comes an increased level of focus. With commitment comes a single-minded purpose, improved ability to spot opportunities, and the impetus to take more risks on your journey. You do this because in your mind there are no other possibilities or alternate paths. You therefore either make this work, or you may as well quit.

However, when you’re committed you don’t quit because quitting means you will fail to achieve your desired outcomes, and this is just too painful to even contemplate. And so you persist and take chances along your journey, fully realizing that without some risk your goal will always remain a fleeting dream — so close, yet clearly out of your reach.

However, when it comes to commitment, it’s not only about committing to achieving a goal. Commitment is about the little things as it is about the big things. You make small commitments every single day of your life. For instance, you may commit yourself to developing a new habit, to completing a task or project, to learning a new skill, or to keeping a promise, etc. You make these small commitments every single day, however, how many of these commitments do you actually keep?

Every time you make a commitment to yourself, you are at that moment making a promise to yourself that you will do something. This is of course fantastic. It’s fantastic when you follow through on these commitments and achieve your desired outcomes, however, it’s not so helpful when you make a promise that you fail to keep. These broken commitments might seem small and kind of insignificant, however each commitment you fail to keep conditions you in limiting ways.

The moment you break a commitment is the moment you are sending a message to your brain that you are unable to follow-through with the promises you make to yourself. And because your brain is being conditioned in this way, this means that the next time you commit to something, your brain will automatically expect that you won’t follow-through with your promise, and as such it will figure out a way to break that commitment.

Your brain might, for instance, distract you with short-term pleasures and instant gratification. These temptations will immediately sidetrack your efforts and you will lose all focus and the momentum you’ve built up to this stage. You’re all of a sudden distracted and your efforts are now derailed. And yet, what’s worse is that the next time you seemingly commit to something it will be even more difficult to stay committed because each time you break a commitment you strengthen a habit, and this instantly puts you on the “back foot”.

In order to overcome this vicious cycle, you must recognize the difference between a commitment and the act of merely being interested in something. When you’re merely interested in something you have a very foggy idea of what it will take to achieve your desired outcomes. In other words, you have absolutely no idea what you’re getting yourself into. However, when you are committed to something, you have a very clear idea of what lies ahead on your journey; the sacrifices you must make; the resources you must acquire; and how you’re going to respond to the challenges that await. And that’s all about clarity. It’s about gaining the clarity you need to decide whether or not you have what it takes to commit to this journey.

Commitment Requires Clarity

When you commit to something you might not always know what you’re getting yourself into, however, you do at the very least recognize the sacrifices you must make in order to follow through with your actions. Although some of these sacrifices may not always be evident at the beginning, which is why many people fail to commit to something in the long-term. They quit the moment they realize that they are way over their heads. They expected one thing, yet got something completely different that made them feel very uncomfortable. Therefore, their expectations were simply not aligned with what they committed themselves to do. In other words, their commitment was built upon a set of false expectations which led them astray.

This is a very real scenario that touches all of our lives at one time or another. However, it is a scenario that doesn’t necessarily need to run its course, as long as you first gain the necessary clarity you need about the “thing” you are about to commit yourself to.

Gain Clarity About What You Want

In order to commit to something, you must have clarity about what it is you want, or in other words, what you are specifically committing yourself to. Ask yourself:

What is it that I want to do?

What is it that I want to commit myself to do?

It’s important to note that identifying what it is you want is just the first step. We all want plenty of things, however, we don’t fully commit to those things. These are merely things we are interested in, and that is just not enough to bring them to fruition.

The one thing that distinguishes a “commitment” from an “interest” is the reason for wanting something. When you’re committed to something, you have some very strong reasons for why you want that “something” in your life. On the other hand, when you’re merely interested in something, you simply don’t have enough reasons to want that “thing” in your life. As such, it’s important to find these reasons. Ask yourself:

Why do I want this?

Why specifically do I want this right now?

What are the benefits of having this thing in my life?

The more reasons you can find to have this “thing” in your life, the more commitment you will muster. However, for every commitment you make there are also potential drawbacks that you must keep in mind.

In order to gain further clarity about what it is you want, please read How to Set Smart Goals.

Gain Clarity About Potential Sacrifices

While taking into consideration all the benefits you will derive from making this commitment to achieve your goal, it’s also important to take into account possible drawbacks of making this commitment. Ask yourself:

Are there any potential drawbacks?

How do I feel about these drawbacks?

Drawbacks often come in the form of potential sacrifices you might need to make in order to follow through with your commitment. You might, for instance, need to sacrifice time, money, or resources. There might also be an opportunity cost where committing to this path could mean that you can’t focus on other things. Ask yourself:

What time commitments might I need to make?

How much money might I need to put into this?

What kinds of resources might I need to sacrifice?

If I commit to this, what will I be unable to do?

What’s the opportunity cost here?

It’s these kinds of sacrifices that you must be consciously aware of because it’s these sacrifices that derail most peoples’ efforts the moment they commit to something. These people simply didn’t realize how much they had to sacrifice in order to pursue this path. If only they thought about these kinds of things before they made a commitment.

For more information about making the necessary sacrifices to achieve your desired outcomes, please read The Price of Success.

Gain Clarity About Obstacles You Might Face

Obstacles are another thing that can often derail your level of commitment to a given path. However, for the most part, these obstacles aren’t the problem. The problem is that these obstacles weren’t expected, and because we didn’t expect to confront these obstacles we are simply ill-prepared to handle them. To avoid this mistake, ask yourself:

What could potentially prevent me from getting what I want?

What obstacles outside of me could derail my efforts? What specific circumstances? What specific people?

What obstacles within me could derail my efforts? Limiting beliefs? Mindset? Unhelpful habits?

How will I handle each of these obstacles?

What if I can’t successfully handle them? How could I adapt?

The obstacles you could potentially face come from both internal and external sources. Internally you might have a set of limiting beliefs or habits that might cause you a few problems. While externally there might be specific people or circumstances that might derail your efforts. And it’s these things that you must be ready and prepared for because it’s these things that will throw doubt on your levels of commitment. As such, it’s important to take into consideration how you will tackle each of these obstacles along your journey as they arise. This clarity alone may very well provide you the necessary insights you need to steer clear of these challenges along your path.

There will, of course, be some obstacles that you won’t be able to avoid. There might even be some obstacles that you won’t handle successfully. In such instances, you must be flexible enough to adapt your approach. You might not have the necessary tools to climb up this mountain, however, you can certainly walk around this mountain and still get to your destination. Yes, it might take longer than you expected, however, you’re still committed to this journey no matter what path you are forced to take. And that is exactly the flexible approach that you must bring with you along your journey towards your goal.

For more information on how to overcome potential obstacles along your journey, please read How to Overcome Obstacles.

Gain Clarity About the Resources You Might Need

So, you don’t have the necessary tools to climb this mountain? This, of course, presents a problem, however, it didn’t need to be a problem if you simply took the time to bring your mountain gear.

Every goal you set may require certain things that will help you achieve that goal successfully. These things are known as resources and can come in the form of tools, skills, support, knowledge, information, time, etc. Acquiring these resources will ensure that you stay committed to your goal when difficulties arise.

You might, for instance, need a certain set of skills in order to do something. Or you might require some more knowledge about a certain area in order to understand what might be the best course of action moving forward. Or you might need other people’s expertise, knowledge, and skills to help you overcome a specific hurdle.

In order to pinpoint the resources you might need, it’s helpful to remind yourself of the potential obstacles you might face along your journey. Ask yourself:

What obstacles will I potentially face along this journey?

What resources might I need to overcome each of these obstacles successfully?

What tools, skills, knowledge, information, and support might be required?

How will I go about acquiring these resources?

As you answer these questions, what you might find is that some of the obstacles that you previously thought were difficult to overcome, no longer seem so difficult because you now have the necessary resources to tackle them successfully. And even if you don’t have the necessary resources, it’s important to never underestimate your resourcefulness in any situation. Unexpected obstacles may very well arise along your journey, and that is when you will need to quickly adapt. In fact, that is when you will need to dig deep within yourself and become resourceful in your own right in order to overcome these challenges successfully.

For more information on clarifying the resources, you might potentially need, please read How to Create a Life Resource List.

Gain Clarity About Your Commitment Levels

Having now completed all the background work, you should have a very clear idea about what it will take to commit yourself to following through with this decision or action. However, just to be sure, you might find it helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

Am I perfectly clear about what is required to achieve this outcome?

How motivated am I to commit to this wholeheartedly?

How confident am I that I can follow through with my commitment?

On a scale of 0 to 10, how committed am I to do this?

If after answering these questions you are not at a level of 8/10 or above for commitment, then it’s very likely that you are not going to follow-through wholeheartedly with your decisions and actions. In other words, you are not yet committed to this path, you are rather merely interested. You might, therefore, need to work through this entire process all over again while carefully pinpointing areas of resistance. Ask yourself:

Why am I unable to fully commit to this at this time?

What specifically is preventing me from committing to this path?

Do I have any limiting beliefs that are creating doubts in my mind?

Do I have any conflicts in my life that are preventing me from committing wholeheartedly?

Where specifically is this resistance coming from?

How could I successfully work through this resistance? What must I do?

The resistance you experience will, of course, be unique to your situation. As a matter a fact there might be a myriad of reasons why you are resisting making a wholehearted commitment. However, don’t despair, because there are certain things you can do that can help you raise your levels of commitment successfully.

Raising Your Commitment Levels

If your commitment levels are not where you think they should be, then there are certain things you can do that can help you raise your commitment levels successfully. This, of course, applies to commitments you have made as well as to commitments you are yet to fully make. However, the suggestions that follow are most applicable to raising your commitment levels once you’ve already started your journey. Therefore, whenever you are feeling your commitment levels wane slightly, you can use these suggestions to help get yourself right back on track.

Commit Yourself to Excellence

Committing yourself to excellence means doing the very best you can with whatever you have at any moment in time. It also means consistently raising your standards in order to improve on past performances.

When you commit to excellence you commit to maintaining high standards that keep propelling you forward to consistently break new grounds. This helps raise your levels of commitment because you are always competing against your “best-self”. You are always looking at ways to improve and to do things better than you did them before, which has a tendency to keep you motivated, on track and moving forward. You no longer look back when problems arise. You are instead committed to simply doing your best no matter what the circumstances.

In order to raise your levels of commitment, you might want to create a contract with yourself that stipulates exactly what you are committed to doing; the standards you will be aspiring to; and how you intend to follow through with these steps. This contract is beneficial because it can help you stay focused and on track when you temporarily lose your way.

You might also want to make a public commitment. A public commitment will raise your commitment levels because you are no longer just doing things for yourself. You are now also following through with your decisions and actions in order to prove to others that you can get the job done successfully. Now, of course, making a public commitment to the wrong people can actually be detrimental to your success. For instance, making it publicly known to naysayers that you will achieve a certain goal can bring a lot of doubt into your life. As such, it’s important that you make a public commitment to people who will support and hold you accountable throughout this process. However, at times it can certainly be useful telling naysayers about your plans to help provide you with that extra level of incentive to follow through with your actions.

Define Your Vision

Commitment requires motivation, and there is probably no better way to motivate yourself than to outline an inspiring vision for the attainment of your goal. Now, of course, this vision doesn’t have to change the world, however, it has to change “your” world. It has to be something that gets you up in the morning full of passion and energy; something that keeps you focused and inspired throughout the day; and something that’s so exciting that you just can’t get it out of your mind as you go to sleep at night. That’s what it takes to create a powerful vision, and that’s exactly what it takes to raise your levels of commitment.

It is however important that you take ownership of this vision. This vision must, therefore, be of your creation and not based on someone else’s idea. You must own it and you must take full responsibility for bringing this vision of your goal into reality. That is the only way you will ever fully commit to this path.

For more information on how to go about creating an inspiring vision, please read Unlocking Your Personal Legend.

Create a Plan of Action

Once you have your vision in place, you must now develop a plan of action that will bring that vision to life. This plan must support the fulfillment of that vision in every way. As such it needs to have certain elements in place, including:

• Short-term objectives including step-by-step actions you will take and tasks you will complete.
• Long-term projects and goals that you will commit to.
• Clear deadlines for completing everything.
• Rewards for reaching targets and penalties for failing to reach those targets.

However, having a plan of action in place doesn’t give you the right to follow-through with this plan exactly as you just laid it out. You must instead be flexible in your approach. Yes, follow your plan, but follow it to a certain extent. When something doesn’t make sense, don’t just keep doing what you’re doing if it’s getting you nowhere. Instead, take time to evaluate the progress you have made thus far, and then adjust your course of action moving forward in order to maximize your efforts. It’s after all this flexible approach that will keep you focused and committed to your goal when problems inevitably arise.

For more information about how to develop a plan of action, please read How to Create a Plan of Action.

Invest in Your Goal

To raise your levels of commitment you must have something at stake. In other words, you must be willing to invest in your goal in order to bring it to fruition. Investment might include the time it takes to learn new skills or acquire relevant knowledge, or it could even mean investing a certain amount of money to support this goal. No matter what it is, the more you have at stake, the more commitment you will muster to follow through with your actions.

When for instance there is nothing at stake and you have absolutely nothing to lose, then there might not be enough urgency behind your actions to take the necessary steps to achieve your desired outcome. And without urgency, you are easily distracted and sidetracked from your path.

In order to determine what you have at stake, ask yourself:

What have I got at stake here?

What specifically will I invest my time, resources and money into?

Why it is important to invest in these things?

What’s there to lose from these investments if I don’t achieve my goal?

How can I use this to help motivate me?

In the end, the greater amount you have to lose, the more satisfactory your end outcome will be, and the more motivation you will have to follow-through and push forward with your decisions and actions. However, there are some words of caution.

Don’t put everything on the line to the extent that you end up depleting all your resources. Yes, of course, invest enough into your goal, but be very careful not to overestimate your resourcefulness. If you end up falling into this trap, then you might very well be in a very disastrous situation — one you might not be able to dig yourself out of. But, then again, in the end, it does come down to your resourcefulness. Therefore, if you genuinely believe in yourself, believe in your abilities, and believe in your support network, then take a chance and commit to the highest degree. Burn all your bridges and step into the unknown leaving no other possibilities on the table. That is after all how the highest achievers the world-over do things. Maybe it’s time we all joined them.

Let Go of Conflicting Commitments

The one way to never fully commit to your goal is to have a plethora of other commitments that scatter your thoughts and efforts. How are you ever supposed to commit to something wholeheartedly if you can’t give your goal the time and attention it needs to bring it to fruition? It’s, of course, impossible, unless you have an army of people working on this goal for you. Ask yourself:

What conflicting commitments do I have?

What things might directly conflict with the goal I am wanting to achieve?

Keep in mind that conflicts might simply be other goals; sometimes very insignificant goals that just get in the way. If this is true in your case, then you have to choose. You either pursue this goal or you pursue that goal. You probably won’t be able to have both in your life, and if you try, you will only scatter your efforts and you might end up having neither.

All this, of course, comes down to an opportunity cost. By pursuing one thing you give up something else, however, it doesn’t mean that you need to quit. You can instead temporarily set other conflicting things aside for the time being. It’s all about re-prioritizing stuff and focusing on the most important things that will have the biggest impact on your life at this very moment. It’s all about choices and priorities. And that’s essentially what commitment is all about.

Make the right choices, and you will have full commitment behind your actions. On the other hand, make the wrong choices and you can kiss your goals goodbye.

Create Empowering Daily Rituals

Rituals are often the small things you do consistently every day/week/month that helps progressively construct the goals you are working towards.

You might, for instance, have a morning ritual that keeps you inspired. You may also have an afternoon ritual that helps you stay productive. And you could even have an evening ritual that encourages self-reflection.

No matter what your rituals are it’s important to ensure that they support the goals and objectives you are working towards. Ask yourself:

What rituals can I develop that could help me achieve my goals?

What rituals can I develop to help keep me focused?

What rituals can I develop to help keep me inspired?

What rituals can I develop to help me learn from setbacks and mistakes?

By building the right kinds of rituals around your goals, you automatically raise your levels of commitment because every ritual supports the attainment of your goal. And because these rituals support your goal, all your focus and attention is directed towards your goal, and this subsequently results in higher levels of commitment.

Create a Mantra to Stay Focused

There might, of course, be times when you lose your focus and get distracted by other things. It’s during these times that you need some kind of trigger that will help you get back on track. This trigger can, of course, come in many forms. It could for instance come in the form of an emotional anchor you condition into your nervous system. It could also be an object (a photo, statue, or quote) that you use to help direct your focus and attention. However, the best way to stay focused probably comes in the form of a mantra.

A mantra is an affirmation you say to yourself throughout the day whenever you lose your focus or get off track. For instance:

Let’s get back on track and get this done…

I am focused and ready to take the next step…

I am ready and committed to this outcome…

These are just three examples of many you can use to help you stay focused and on track. They work because they immediately direct your attention to the right things to help you stay fully committed to the goal you desire to achieve.

Avoiding Commitment Traps

Making a long-term commitment isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be quite difficult at times due to many different factors that can sidetrack your efforts and dissipate your focus and attention. However, these traps don’t need to be fatal. In fact, you can avoid many of these traps; it just takes a little awareness and some forward planning.

Many of these commitment traps you may very well be aware of. However, at times we aren’t always consciously aware of these traps, and we, therefore, tend to fall into them unknowingly. As such, it’s important to familiarize yourself with the following list of commitment traps in order to ensure that they don’t get in your way.

Hoping Thing will Work Out

When it comes to committing yourself to something, there is no room for hope. You simply cannot commit to something and then HOPE that things will work out. When you hope that something will happen you create doubt in your mind that it might not happen. And if you take action from a place of “doubt” then you will always be second-guessing the decisions you make.

Now, of course, hope isn’t all bad if it follows commitment. In other words, you make a decision to commit to a specific course of action, then you follow through with that action and hope that things will turn out as expected. That kind of hope is fine. The kind of hope that isn’t fine is the kind of hope that comes before a commitment is made. Here you hope that the commitment you will make will work out before you even take action. This often leads to massive indecision and will get you nowhere fast.

When you’re indecisive and second-guessing yourself all the time, you live through “doubt”. There is nothing certain in your life because you’re hoping before committing. And because you’re always doubtful, you tend to wait for the perfect moment to take action. But unfortunately this perfect moment never quite arrives, or it arrives too late, and as a result, you’ve lost your chance and opportunity to move forward, and it really shouldn’t be that way.

The lesson from this is to commit yourself first and foremost to your decision and action, and then while you’re moving forward and building momentum, that’s when you can bring a little hope to help give you that extra incentive during difficult moments of your life. However, it is important to keep in mind that when you commit to something you accept no alternate outcomes in your mind, and as a result, all your efforts create a laser-focus that directs your energies towards that one goal. But when you hope that something will happen you essentially have two outcomes in mind. Things might be this way or they might be that way, and as a result, you don’t have as much “drive” behind your actions. It’s probably, therefore, better to commit and just leave hope at the door.

Complaining and Making Excuses

The reason why you might be second-guessing yourself at times and hoping that things will work out is because of the plethora of excuses and complaints you are making about your life and circumstances. This habit of complaining and making excuses is scattering your focus and attention. You are no longer focused on one outcome, you are instead focused on all the things that you don’t like and all the things that are going wrong in your world. This yet again throws doubt in your mind and as a result, you HOPE that things will work out in the end. But as we already know, “hoping” is not the same as “committing”. When you “hope” you are expecting that you will succeed, however at the same time you are expecting that you might not succeed, and this creates a conflict of interest.

In a situation such as this when you’re in two minds about something you end up falling into the unfortunate habits of procrastination and perfectionism. You procrastinate because you fear moving forward as a result of the uncertainty and doubt in your mind. Or, you might indulge in perfectionism because you just don’t know what to do, and so you “do what you know” by focusing on things that are of little significance to the attainment of your goal.

The lesson from all this is to simply let go of complaining or making excuses. Just accept things as they are and take full responsibility for your life, circumstances, and problems — whether you created them or not. At least this way you will project a solution-oriented mindset that will direct all your focus and attention on finding answers rather than on complaining about an endless array of problems.

For information on how to eradicate excuses from your life, please read How to Avoid Living a Life of Excuses.

Small Pleasures and Temptations

Some of the most prevalent commitment killers are those small pleasures and temptations that often sidetrack us. These are all those things that feel so wonderful in the short-term that they are almost impossible to resist. We indulge in them because they temporarily distract us from the pain of giving our attention to other more important matters. However, what gives us pleasure in the moment can trigger a chain reaction of events that can lead to long-term pain in the future. You may, for instance, indulge in this small temptation right now, however, consider what this temptation is distracting you from doing, and the subsequent pain this could lead to in the future. Ask yourself:

What is this temptation distracting me from?

What am I trying to avoid doing? Why?

How can I make what I’m trying to avoid doing more pleasurable and fun?

What are the long-term consequences of indulging in this temptation?

Your number one objective is to always keep yourself motivated and inspired as you work towards your goal. And to do this you need to ensure that what you’re doing is as pleasurable and fun as possible in order to keep your focus and attention on the right things. Only in this way will you avoid the small temptations that could potentially derail your efforts.

For information about how to avoid these small pleasures, please read How to Avoid the Instant Gratification Trap.

Over Planning

When you commit to something, it’s important to lay out a course of action that you will follow. This, of course, isn’t always necessary, however, it can certainly help especially when you are committing yourself to an outcome where you lack the necessary knowledge and experience. In such scenarios, you would commit to taking a specific course of action, after which you would lay down a plan of action, which you would, of course, follow up with decisive action. You would then make changes to your plan as you move along your journey towards your destination. Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be. However, sometimes things are a little different.

Sometimes we get so absorbed with outlining all the intricate details of our plan that we get overwhelmed before we even get started. The endless planning just brings up so many possibilities and probabilities that we start to doubt our “ability” to bring this plan into fruition. And this doubt creates hesitancy and we yet again fall into the trap of hoping that things will work out. And we all know how that works out in the end. 🙂

Instead of losing yourself in your plan, take time to lay down a big vision for your goal, and then just draw up the first few steps. Once those first few steps have been planned, take decisive action. What you will find is that as you take action you will gain better insights and more clarity about what you must do next along your journey — it’s a clarity you wouldn’t have had if you just spent your time planning everything out in intricate detail.

Therefore the lesson in all this is to create a vision, then plan a little, and then take massive action and make adjustments along your journey. That is after all how long-term commitment is established.

Making Unrealistic Commitments

Every commitment you make isn’t always a good commitment. As a matter a fact, making the wrong commitments can result in just as many problems as when you make half-hearted commitments.

You should, for instance, be wary of committing yourself to something that is beyond your level of ability. In other words, if you simply don’t have enough skills, experience, resources or time available to make this commitment, then you should most certainly think twice before taking the plunge. Making this commitment might just waste time you could have spent on other things that would bring you higher rewards. Ask yourself:

What am I really committing myself to?

Do I have the necessary skills and experience to follow through with this?

Do I have the adequate knowledge and resources to support my efforts?

Do I have the time in my schedule to give to this?

Of course, if you don’t have everything you need to make this commitment at this very moment, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t commit despite these limitations. By all means, commit and learn from this experience to improve your results the next time around. However, be wary that failure brings with it doubt, and doubt creates uncertainty, and this can impact your levels of confidence moving forward.

All this, of course, doesn’t mean that you should wait till you’re 100 percent ready before moving forward. That’s definitely not what I am saying. What you must do is take the time to fully clarify what will be required to commit yourself to this particular goal (it’s what we did earlier). Only then should you commit yourself wholeheartedly to taking positive action. After all, going forward without fully understanding what you’re getting yourself into does not work off “commitment”, but rather off of “hope”, which is in a sense an unrealistic commitment that can completely derail your efforts.

Time to Assimilate these Concepts

Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic? Would you like to optimize how you think about this topic? Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I’m confident you will gain tremendous value from using the accompanying IQ Matrix for coaching or self-coaching purposes. This mind map provides you with a quick visual overview of the article you just read. The branches, interlinking ideas, and images model how the brain thinks and processes information. It’s kind of like implanting a thought into your brain – an upgrade of sorts that optimizes how you think about these concepts and ideas. 🙂

Recommended IQ Matrix Bundles

If you’re intrigued by the idea of using mind maps for self-improvement then I would like to invite you to become an IQ Matrix Member.

If you’re new to mind mapping or just want to check things out, then register for the Free 12 Month Membership Program. There you will gain access to over 90 mind maps, visual tools, and resources valued at over $500. 

If, on the other hand, you want access to an ever-growing library of 100s of visual tools and resources, then check out our Premium Membership Packages. These packages provide you with the ultimate visual reference library for all your personal development needs.

Gain More Knowledge…

Here are some additional links and resources that will help you learn more about this topic: